transitions

Recently I have experienced a lot of change in my life and with change comes transition. The hardest part of change. They say it takes three to four weeks to transition adjust to new things in your life.

All this change came about when I was practicing yoga 20 hours a week. let's just say the yoga pushed back, and hard. For a while right after my intense training with yoga I was afraid to do yoga because it had pushed me into this transitional state. I knew I had to make changes in my life but did not know where to start.

After crying on the mat a few times I finally realized what I had to do. It wasn't easy. I fumbled a few times. Went back on my words and actions. But then one day I just turn to my boyfriend and told him how I felt. I had to start by breaking up with my boyfriend because "you ARE the company you KEEP" This is something my yoga teachers says quite often. I was keeping some pretty bad company at the time.

Looking back, I knew that I did not want to be around certain people because when I was with them I was misrable. However, I had a really hard time getting away from them. I kept telling myself, "they need me...I make them happy" But I did not make them happy and nor did they make me happy. I was very UN-HAPPY.

This made me reflect on what it means to be happy. What is happiness? and what makes me happy. I came up with several ideas but mostly simple things make me happy. I know that the people I surround myself with is vital to my happiness. If I surround myself with people who are snarky and bitter I will start to absorb these qualities and become snarky and bitter myself. Which I know I am not either of those deep down.

Finally, after three months of transition I feel that I have finally settled. I feel lighter, brighter and free. I am myself now and will continue to change and grow with the people who surround me.